The Big Stake Out

They've got their people...I've got mine. That's right. Me and Braden were on a stake out. It all started with this black van. You know those big old vans with no windows. The ones crooks and robbers and child grabbers drive. Well there has been one parked at the end of my street all stinkin day long! This van has no label on it, that I can see anyway, and has one of the back doors open and ready to just throw someone in and jet. My daughter rides the bus to and from school everyday and the van is at her stop which could seem a bit suspicious to the motherly sorts.













So that's where me and Braden come into play.
As we know the exact, or approximate, time the bus would be arriving to drop her off. We stake out in Sissy's room. Why, because its cleaner than Braden's at the moment. And her bed is higher, therefore way funner to jump on!












Don't you love how Braden is sooo into this with his game face on and all! Ok, so he is totally checking himself out in the mirror as always! I don't know where he gets it! But hey, he's doing a great job as my accomplice. And so we wait...

Finally the big yellow bus arrives.













Its now or never nabbers!

Our girl is now into view and heading this way.












I'm now wondering why we didn't have fancy code names picked out like buttercup and lemon drop.

And she has now entered the door.













Yes she made it home safe and sound today. And yes the van is still down at the end of my street. With the door still open I might add. I have no idea what the heck is going on down there and I still haven't seen a person outside over there to save my soul. But....... there's always Monday.....And we'll be prepared!

P.S. No I'm not some overbearing, neurotic, crazy mother that believes someone is out to grab their kids. Just a little observant and cautious is all. Oh and bored out of my stinkin mind so I thought I'd make a post about it!

Kan I get a Buck

Being laid off from work has its perks! Back in the beginning of Dec. I think it was when we were informed we would be off work from Christmas to Feb. 9th. I thought to myself oh my heck I can get soooo much much needed crap done around the house. So while I was still working I'd think to myself how I'm going to go through everything in my house and garage(what a joke, its cold out there) and toss and organize and just relax and chill the rest of the time. Sounds great right. Very reasonable and sensible and oh so smart too. Well I, or my lazy heiney anyway, have rushed right into the relax and chill zone. I don't feel that I've really accomplished a thing since I've been off work for over a month now. Shame on me! I know! So here I was with only 2 more weeks of 'relax and chill time' and I decide its now or never. I cleaned out my way cool secret walk in pantry. Then low and behold they added another week! Yipppeeee! So what has my panic stricken self been doing? You guessed it...relax and chill! That was why they threw that extra week in there right? Not so I could procrastinate even longer because I would soooooooo never do that! I mean I did actually get one major task checked off my list. Horah for me!

So what exactly does one do while they are not working? Call up my good friends Mr. Lame O from Louisiana and Mr. Kan I get a Buck Buck Kansas as we have a love hate bipolar relationship of sorts. Filing for unemployment is very stressful. I worked in LA but lived in TX till I transferred to KS but live in MO. Now the wonderful automated Unemployment Department services are unable to follow and compute my highly regarded work/travel visa. So instead I must dial, hold and be hung up on repeatedly by Mr. Lame O and Mr. Kan I get a Buck. Just when I've dialed for the 100th time on any given day one of my fine friends will actually put me on hold so that I can learn a bit about them, such as their musical interests. Would you know it they are both Lame O's and only like elevator music. Where do I find these guys? All I have to say is thank you somebody for speakerphone! As I wait to be put through I manage quite a bit of daily duties. I mean I've been able to prepare, eat, and clean up after breakfast and lunch, do my toes, hair and makeup only to be disconnected and do it all over again. Its been an ordeal. I mean how does someone I've never met in person have the nerve to hang up on me when I've been holding for a response for like 2 hours? Just as I'm about to ring their necks they put me on hold once again and then finally, finally I hear a voice! That voice I'de been waiting on was a womans? And here I was all ready to use my sexy voice to get what I needed. All my luck! So anyway I was finally able to get some paperwork processed and I'm hoping to have some moullah coming in soon!

So why did my employer add another week? I believe to compensate for my new found bipolar tightwad boyfriends. Or should I say girlfriend?

But I'll take it. I mean someones gotta make sure that couch isn't going anywhere!

My BFF













Always as appalled as I am when put on hold or hung up on.

P.S. If I'm unable to make phone calls its because my demanding boyfriends have used up all my minutes. Way to go strangers!

P.P.S. I can still text tho suckers!

At Least She Claims Some Family

I try to do my part in not embarrassing my children by publicly running around in my housecoat with no makeup on and my hair all looking like Medusa. Ok, so maybe I do this every now and then if I have to drop Felisha off at school because its too cold to wait on the bus but I make sure no one sees me! I am however fully aware that as a parental figure I must not hug and kiss my daughter in public. Instead I opt to make sure she's got her phone on her so I can text her all the mushy gushys I want. Pretty smart huh? Well maybe not as I'm only to be ignored and not get a response back because texting your mom is apparently uncool when with friends. But there is hope. For instance the other day she had Readers Theater and I was all 'Alright I'll be there' and was informed by Miss Thang herself that I need not to come. Which I believed meant don't sit in the front, don't make a scene, and most importantly Do Not act like you know me. I'm down with that. Like I said I'm not out to embarrass her. So I show up with my hair done and my face on and no housecoat.

Braden on the other hand is completely clueless on what keeps his sis cool. He totally blew our cover as he kept yelling 'Zizzy' and keeping an eye on her whereabouts. As he was getting restless from time to time the attention was drawn to us. Needless to say after the show kids were asking if he was her brother and without any hesitation or regret she claimed him! And with a sincere smile on her face! I'm so proud!

The 'Has Been' Biker Babe

The time has come to sell some things I love but never use or wear or need anymore. As much as I hate to part with them I also have not worn them in over 2 years. Don't they say if you haven't worn it in the last 6 months...chances are you won't wear it again. We have no chromed out, loud exhaust, speed racing Harley anymore so the chances of me wearing my way chic leathers are pretty slim right now. These beauties will be going up on Ebay this week.

































































The cream and black ensemble is my absolute favorite! It took me forever to track down all three pieces and I ended up buying them in 3 different locations many a miles away from each other. The jacket was worn the most, pants a few times, skirt uh...your looking at it being worn! I could never find the right boots back then. And honestly as cute as it is you just don't run around looking like that to grab a burger now do you? (Although I may have to just once before they leave!)

I'm gonna miss them! Or my closets gonna miss them anyway! But I've got mouths to feed and sacrifices to make. For this particular sacrifice I believe no one can say I'm a selfish spoiled brat for at least 6 months...year at best!

Happy Shopping,
Di

Update: Only the top 3 outfits did not sell on Ebay which may have something to do with this economic crisis we are having but if you are interested post a comment!

Mug Shots

I am by no means photogenic and I am well aware of this fact. I rarely ever have my pic taken and was in dire need to update my profile pic as you do know that is the one picture they will plaster everywhere when you make the 5 o clock news! So in my quest to update my picture I took several thousand pictures of me and the kiddos messing around. Confession: I took several thousand of myself trying to get at least one decent one while everyone made fun of a girl on a mission! In between determination and frustration the kiddos jumped in for a few photo op's. We are such dorks at home! We did manage a few good 'sincere' ones tho!






































































Now watch the 5 o' clock news crew pick one of these instead! Especially one with my tongue hanging out!

Nice Eggs

So while fixing dinner tonight Braden dug through the cabinets and found the Easter Eggs. He likes to load things up like his dump truck and the laundry basket...or whatever else he can find!















Where kids come up with these ideas I will never know! Just one of those things they do to make you laugh! He's a funny one for sure.

Avoid the Mall Altogether

From birth to age eighteen a girl needs good parents. From eighteen to thirty-five she needs good looks. From thirty-five to fifty-five she needs a good personality. From fifty-five on she needs cash.
-Sophie Tucker

Me and my daughter enjoy going to Barnes and Noble. She even begs me to take her there half the time and has been doing so ever since she could read. I love that she's so into reading and writing short stories. Her teachers love her writing and says shes got style and talent and is most advanced in those subjects. I must agree the girls got skills:) Anyway, she's the kind of gal that will find that one great book and go read. I on the other hand wonder aimlessly throughout the whole store finding books of various subjects of interest to me.

I came across this book called Nice Girls Don't Get Rich; 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money. Needless to say it caught my eye. Most of it was kinda blah blah, do you really need it, think about purchase for awhile, etc. Flipping through I came across this:

Avoid the mall altogether. (I know! I had to read that again to make sure that's what it said!)One study reports that only 25 percent of all visits to a mall or shopping center are for the express purpose of making an intentional purchase. The remaining visits are for recreational or entertainment purposes.

Could this really be true?? I mean I would never do such a thing! I would never go just to browse around. I would never go just to get out of the house or to let Braden run wild and burn his barrel of energy in the kiddo land instead of climbing the fridge at home. I would never go there just to keep my sanity or to get away from my family. I would never make a trip there just for recreational or entertainment purposes. Yeah right! I'm soooo there every chance I get! Hence the reason I'm not rich! However I thought I was being all money savvy when I decided not to purchase said book and save that cash for something else instead. Like this great new must have book(of my new boyfriend) for my daughter.













Funny she would pick a book all about him. I know shes all into the the whole Twilight Saga but him? Hmmm. And I thought she was all 'Team Jacob' and I was 'Team Edward'! Gonna have to watch that girlie as shes trying to steal my man!!

Off to the Mall, (Ha!)
Di

Southern Living at Home

What could make any mother that loves to shop happy? Receiving an order in the mail! What could make any little boy happy? But of course, the box his mommy's goods came in!

As I may have received these lovelies...















Someone else thought the box to be quite lovely...















My girlfriend Paula sells Southern Living at Home and I am addicted! When I lived in Texas I went to so many of her parties she considered me and my girl Tina her "groupies". Love it! I may have moved and can't attend her parties anymore but I'm forever hooked!

Hunk-A-Mania

So I finally had a much needed Girl's Night Out last night! My girlfriend Krystal gave me tickets to Hunk-A-Mania for the Holidays! Bless her heart she knows how to bring many a smiles to a girls face:) So we went to this:













Ok...so the tickets are a nice sneak preview of the show but they really need to make them oh say postcard size and in color! Or poster size, but then again how would I explain that to my kids...Oh that pic (of my boyfriends)...it was really hot where they were ya see...and they were in a hurry to get their picture taken and just weren't ready yet.









This was the menu for the night. Men are not cheap!






















So bring a lot of these! Proper technique would be to fold these puppies in half lengthwise and wave them in the air when you want some attention. Helpful hint: two drink minimum! I chose Sex on the Beach for the evening. No particular reason! Wink wink!














This was my personal favorite Hunk of the night! Isn't he just any cowgirls dream(or mine)! He danced around in a light blue G-string and white leather chaps and of course...the hat! After the show you could go up on stage and get a Polaroid of you and the man of your choice for a whopping $5. Now I call that a steal Mr. Derrik Steel! I even had him sign it!

Note:I look like a dork in this pic...gripping my cash so tightly! LOL! I was really kinda bummed tho cause the gal snapping pics totally left out my way too cute shoes for evening:( You can see them here tho!















Ladies if you've never been you really should check it out at least once! There's nothing wrong with it. Women of all ages and walks of life will be there. It's also a great mini workout because I tell you I laughed so hard and was smiling from ear to ear and just had a really great time! I mean where else can you go and have super hot half naked men at your beckoned call (by waving cash in your hand) come spend some time entertaining you and telling you they love your smile, think you smell good (I must thank you Victoria's Secret cause I really did!) that you're a doll and beautiful! I know, I know they do it for the cash but it's also nice to hear it from a group of super hot hunks:)

Big Smiles (wink wink),
Di

What Ladies Dig!

So I started this blog meaning to post 'real' pictures but all I've taken lately are pictures of food via my recipe blog and my kitchen as foods baking away. I just had to post this picture today for giggles! Every time I look at it I have to laugh! Me and the kids were at Target today messing around playing dress up with Braden who obviously enjoys it! I mean come on he looks good in this hat! Really brings out his uh well whatever hes bringing out! Ha! I was really surprised I captured it with my trusty iPhone so I had to post it!

Just so you all know yes I am one of those weird paranoid germ-a-phobic people. I'm the woman at the grocery store or where ever carrying in my Clorox wipe to wipe down the shopping cart handles getting all the funny looks. After seeing this picture do you blame me! Probably should of wiped it down after we were done! Whoops! Sorry guys!

P.S. Braden I love you and I'm not in any way trying to embarrass you. Your my little stud and if this is how you choose to pick up the ladies then so be it! Oh and for future reference:Do Not put your boogies in my bag! Yuck!